Chapter 36 | Altered state

Altered State

Going through my day, ticking my ‘to-do list’ and being busy because ‘being busy’ is apparently worthwhile, useful and required – and at least I can say ‘I am very busy’. So let us stay busy, let us go from one episode, one task, one class, one meal, one conversation to the other without being altered, remaining exactly the same on auto-pilot; kind of half numb, half disorientated and rarely present.  When we think we are present we tend to rush because ‘more, fast’ means ‘getting more out, making every second count’.

I have no idea, I think it must have been something that I read about ‘being present’ and ‘thinking beyond’ – what being present is, in the here and now.  I have also learnt that the ‘present moment’ in chronos (literal) time is anything between 2-7 seconds.  How many meaningful 7 second moments do you have a day? I am laughing now, thinking of how brains will now kick into gear trying to figure out how many 7 seconds we can make count…

Real flow, for we are fully tuned in, engaged, energised and fulfilled does not have any time. In fact it is timeless, it has no space, no orientation.  It does not have a structure, neither a name nor a label. It is an embodied experience of mind, body and heart.

These questions might be easier for you to answer: When was the last time you had a fully in-tune embodied experience? Were you alone or with someone? What did you do? Did you listen to something? Watch something? Taste something? Make love? All of a sudden my world becomes quiet, it brings a pause and a stillness. I realise that I have to exit my brain/mind and I have to feel, I have to let go and become permeable to enable myself to receive and to participate with all of my senses.

I want to be altered by my experiences, I want to be altered by the special people with whom I spend my time, I want to be altered by my coaches, my teachers, my therapists. I do not wish to go through my to-do list in a robotic manner anymore. I find it stale, stressful and it saps the life out of me and others; I achieve and yet I feel empty. I have many friends yet I am not connected to any. I keep on doing exercise classes, yet somehow I remain ‘the same’. I could go on and on and on…

My joys in life lie in altered states of being, with full immersion being possible by being present and permeable. I want to live my life being altered daily through enriching experiences and people. That life to me seems to make sense and I feel warm in my heart, wide and open in my chest, heavy in my arms; headless when I think about it.

Something to ponder… I give you 7 seconds.. (😊)… xx

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